Who Helps?

My friend (the one I spat my beer on) and I were talking about careers and the fact that we don't know many Latinos living in Dallas - or that we don't consider many Latinos friends. We go to the happy hours, do some volunteering, and other stuff, but we really don't know any Raza. She's kind of fresia and from Houston and I'm puro Rascuache Chicano from the Valley. I've been known to say that I don't like Dallas Mexicans. They're just different. I'll stick to my Valley kids. I don't have much in common with the Dallas raza that run in the circles that I do. I have more in common with the Mexican immigrants that come and clean the offices three times a week. I can talk to them for hours -- the kids my age, 2 minutes.

Anyway, as racist or elitist as that conversation may have sounded, we continued (after I spat my beer on her). I will soon be leaving my job and moving somewhere South. So, we started talking about people who have helped us succeed as professionals and in education. We were both hard-pressed to name more than a couple of Latinos whom we considered have had a significant impact in our lives, save our familias. I named a couple of gringos, a couple of chinos, and struggled to name Latinos. She did too. We wondered, why that was so. She quickly exclaimed "it's because we keep each other down." I disagreed, but didn't really have an argument. I told her that maybe it's that there are not enough Latinos in those positions of power to go around - and maybe that's why we've never seen them in our lives like that.

Come to think of it - the two (and only) Latina bosses I have ever had - screwed me royally. The gringo and the chinos are still helping me. Wow - that sucks (not the help, the fact that I got screwed). And that's exactly what we both said to each other as she wiped the beer/spit off her face.

I don't know what it is. I wish I could explain it. I wish it weren't like that. Man, I'm a former MECHistA, for crying out loud.