I'm in Texas, Right? Pistoleros.
A couple of minutes ago I was staring at my computer screen doing some work when I realized I wasn't going to make it to lunch if I didn't eat something quick. I walked to the kitchen in our office and the good Lord had left a pizza box with a couple of slices of pizza in it. I grabbed a slice, put it in the microwave, then started asking my co-workers who was the rightful owner of that little slice of heaven and if I could have some. Our office manager, a young gal who lives in Red Oak, TX said it was hers and shook her head in the affirmative when I asked if I could have some.
The smell of pizza filled our loft and I hurried over to the microwave to feast on my day old pizza. I placed the greasy napkin that was holding the pizza slice on the kitchen counter, next to the coffee maker, and here's where the fun begins.
The only two women who work in our office were getting their 8th cup of morning coffee, pre-cigarette break, and were chatting about the news. Office Mgr. says, "Did you hear about the armed robbery at the Tom Thumb in Rowlett (small town East of Dallas)?" Marketing asst. replies "I sure did, but I didn't get to see it on t.v." I continue listening and within 2 minutes the conversation turns into "why you should own a gun 101."
Marketing asst: "The other day some guys in ski masks robbed this lady on her yard, in broad daylight."
Office Mngr (lives in even Red Oak, smaller town south of Dallas): "That's why I keep my guns close to me."
Daily Texican: "(big grin) Yea, but can that lady really carry her gun with her while gardening."
Marketing asst. and Office Mngr. kindly ignore DT's comment and continue conversation.
Office Mngr: "When xxx traveled a lot, he would go fishing, hunting, I would stay home by myself. Well, one time I heard some jiggling at the back door. We have tons of guns at the home. My .45, shotguns, rifles, and I was looking for a shotgun, because I was sleepy and I don't want to have to aim perfectly."
Daily Texican: "What? You don't have to aim well with a shotgun? How many guns do you have?"
Office Mngr: "Mostly hunting rifles. So, I peek outside without turning on the lights, and I see the handle on my back door jiggling. and I yell, you better get the hell out of here or I'll shoot you."
Daily Texican: (burst out laughing - while they stare at me, then laugh) Oh man, keep telling this story. (take another bite out of pizza slice).
Office Mngr: "He ran away and they finally caught him about 8 houses down trying to break into another house."
Marketing Asst: "When I lived in Dallas, we lived in a slum, and we always had our gun out, because of the baby. She was tiny and my husband had to come out w/ the gun a couple of times."
Daily Texican walks away and announces to rest of office that he's just listened to a conversation about guns while eating a slice of pizza and smelling the good coffee (not a coffee drinker).
Marketing Asst. overhears and probably thinks DT is making fun of her. Walks over to DT and tells him if anything ever happened to her kids, she'd kill the bastard. Even if he was in court, he'd be dead. DT nodded and thought he might do the same, or not. DT doesn't know, DT doesn't have kids (does talking in the 3rd person remind anyone else of a Seinfeld episode?).
DT then says he has a rifle in McAllen, which he won at a police raffle, but has never used it. That's it.