Fixing A Plate
One of my high school friends made a comment after observing a very normal (in my eyes) gesture between couples at our high school reunion. I'm not exactly sure which of my friends made the comment - either the independant, intelligent, confident L.A. chica (she's reading this) or the Ohio State graduate student professora.
We had food at most of our reunion events (of course, raza always eating w/o regard for the diabetes or high cholesterol that runs in our people) - fajitas, tortillas, frijoles, menudo, and of course lots of cerveza. The comment was made after observing that more than one wife, fiance, or girlfriend, got up to serve their significant other a plate of food. The women got up, fixed their husbands a plate, gave it to them, then went back and served themselves a plate.
One of my friends thinks the gesture is an act of submissiviness and indicates that the woman is playing the role of servant. She says most Mexican men aren't there emotionally for their Women, so this gesture isn't deserved. I quickly pointed out that the same men who had their plates served, earlier in the day, took it upon themselves to start the fire at the bbq, cook the meat, and clean up, while their wives chatted away. I pointed out that I think those are just gestures and roles men and women sometimes play, especially Mexicanos. I don't think it's wrong - in fact, I think it's nice to see.
I don't think we have to stop being gentlemen or ladies in order to avoid being sexists. Anyway, I love arguing with my friend, so it's fun to see the way to see the way she thinks.